Monday, October 22, 2012

And She's Out!

Last Thursday and Friday were rather tramatic for me.

If you've read read my blog at all, you may be familiar with how strongly adverse I am to needles. Well, it has been six years since I've last had labwork done because I always pass out or come close to passing out and I just don't like that feeling. (It's been even longer since I've had a full blown physcial). Well, Mitch and I would eventually like to start a family, and I know needles are a fact of life with that. Therefore, I forced myself to get a headstart and force myself to go get a physical.

I had high hopes that after six years, things would be different. I now think that it made things that much worse. I had built it up in my mind over that time period and from the point I received my labwork order on Thursday, all the way until Friday morning, I was a complete basket case. Major anxiety.

I wanted with every fiber of my being to just disregard the lab order or to put it off indefinitely.
But I made myself go. Mitch went with me. This was his first experience with me getting labwork done.

We got up at 6:30 a.m. on Friday and went in right away. If I stalled to took time to shower and get ready, my anxiety would just worsen. As it is, I was up every hour that previous night because of how anxious I was. When we got there, I was already crying. Mitch was really good about trying to help me regulate my breathing. When I was trying to explain my situation to the receptionist, I just was too emotional so Mitch took over. They took me in right away even though I didn't have an appointment. There was an appointment before me, but she wasn't a basket case, so they took me first.

I was completely fine when the lab technician initially started. I had my headphones in and plugged into Jeremy Camp on my iPhone. I had my water bottle. I had Mitch trying to distract me and reminding me to breath. However, about 30 seconds in, thats when my mind started to think about what was going on. I felt myself start to go. I tried to lean my head back against the wall. I started to take a drink out of my water bottle to prevent myself from going. And then I went. Passed out cold.

When I come to, the lab technician is done and I am soaking wet. Mitch informed me that when I went, I had my water bottle in my hand and squeezed it, dumping it all over myself. Also, I was clammy and had obviously broken out in a sweat right before passing out. As I was coming to, I thought I still had my headphones on because my hearing was only at 50%, but Mitch had removed them.

In the end, they got their blood. I just hate the feeling of passing out and the way that it makes me feel the rest of the day. This happened at 7:15 a.m. I didn't start to feel "normal" again until around 2:00 p.m. I get so disappointed in myself because I should be over this. Maybe if I don't wait six years again, things will be better next time. It didn't even really hurt! It's just my stupid mind that chooses to think of what it happening.....



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